Shades of Purple

A wonderful bouquet of Orchids given in thanks by a neighbour

Have you ever sat and wondered how many shades of purple there are? How many hues and tones; the variety seems infinite! On Monday morning, I started my observation of the colour when a neighbour on their return from a 5 week jaunt through Singapore, Malaysia and other exotic locations in the Far East, popped around with this fabulous gift for me from their travels. I look after the house, garden, greenhouse etc. whilst they are away; make sure everything is secure, and that everything is fed and watered. In winter this task isn't too onerous, as really all I need to do is pop in once a week to satisfy their insurers, and water a few house plants. During the summer months it takes about half an hour a day, as I water and feed the garden and greenhouse. I have to say they grow delicious tomatoes and cucumbers, and I help myself to these as they ripen, or they would rot on the vines. I have a similar arrangement with another neighbour, and we share cat sitting duties too, and rather than pack our pets off to catteries, we take turns to make sure they are safe and well in their own homes when we venture off on holidays. I like the peace of mind that someone I have known and trusted for many years is keeping an eye on our most precious possessions; our home and our animals.

By Monday afternoon, I gained a new opportunity to extend my studies into the infinite range of purple. Distracted by the orchids as I walked between the sitting and dining room, I pondered, was the old Victorian Celery Glass really the best receptacle to display them in. Now, there is something you should know about me, I am about as clumsy as clumsy comes, and if there is an accident to be had, I will have it. I know better than to walk around and be deep in thought, accidents will invariably happen. Monday afternoon proved no different, and in my day dream state of perambulation, I failed to notice the ever encroaching brick hearth that surrounds the sitting room fireplace as I walked towards the dining room doorway entranced by the flowers. Well, that is until it made its proximity known to me, as I kicked it hard with my right foot! I fell forward and screamed, a shock wave of pain running through me. I had broken my toes! This has led to me having plenty of time to observe all sorts of new shades of purple, as the swelling and bruising spread across my toes and onto my foot. Clumsy is as Clumsy does.

To add insult to injury, the usually sluggish NHS decided to be hyper-efficient, and I received my appointment for the Barium enema yesterday. It came complete with a diet sheet and two packets of laxatives! The diet is for the day before, when I am also required to take the double dose of drugs. It's really exciting .... a poached egg for breakfast, white toast, a scrape of butter, followed by a small piece of poached chicken or white fish for lunch, boiled potatoes, no veg , no sauces, no butter! The crowning glory of this meal is that I am allowed to eat some clear fruit Jelly! Well Yippee! Supper gets even more exciting; I am allowed to have either a clear soup or a meat extract drink. No solid food allowed. The following day, I am not allowed to eat at all, no tea or coffee either! When is this to take place? 3pm on Monday, which means Sunday will be a day of purgatory. I usually make a huge roast and generally splurge on the calories having been good all week. I suspect I will not only be as clumsy as a clumsy thing, but my grumpy tendencies will be much in evidence too! Poor iGit!